The word ultimatum may be inappropriate and has undesirable connotations in this situation.kittoo wrote: ↑Sat Apr 21, 2018 10:16 amI understand. This were serious between us since around 18 months. She met my parents then, I met her parents around 1 year back. Till last month we were planning how the marriage would go and how much money we would need and spend etc. Things truly went downhill only when the astrologer thing happened. But I didn't expect her to give up so easily, especially she has never been the kind who gives two shits about what her parents want her to do or thinkChandragupta wrote: ↑Sat Apr 21, 2018 9:41 amSir imho I have seen plenty of people who are
a. clueless or
b. willing to start from scratch
even at the age of 30-32. It is an inconvenience ofcourse but then these issues are complex. We don't know what is the equation between you two, only you do. Only you know the real depth of your relationship. I have seen plenty of my own friends and acquaintances being in relationships till late 20s and then suddenly when things begin to get serious, some of these relationships come crashing down. In such cases, what is a given is that the next relationships are going to get shorter and shorter. May be the thought process is that it is already 30 now, so worrying about being late is useless. People can tailor their expectations from life and give in, when they see that it is not going according to plan.
I think KJo saar gave you really good advice when he said that you should now fold up things in a defined time period rather than stretching it. If you see things moving in lets say 30 days, then good or else, move on. It is not easy but the more you delay the tougher it is going to be to start from scratch now.
Though right now my main question is, to you and Kho sar, is should i still call her and tell her that I am giving her 1 month, or simply let it be and not contact her for 1 month? It's already been 3 days since the last talk in which I said she should call me only if she is ready to fight. I also said I'd be moving on meanwhile. Soshould I stil give her call for an ultimatum?
It's closure that you are looking for, one way or the other.
Best to call and request for an answer in some mutually suitable and appropriate time frame, failing which each is free to move on and get on with their lives.